


The Heart Wants What It Wants

by ashilrak



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Ficlet Collection, M/M, Minimal warnings, Untagged unless requested
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2018-12-01 20:37:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashilrak/pseuds/ashilrak
Summary: A collection of the burrens ficlets I've posted on tumblr





	1. two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

Aaron wouldn’t describe himself as being jealous of either Alexander or Eliza, but there was a bitterness rising within as he nursed the whiskey in his glass. He took a sip and relished the burn that made its way down his throat. Aaron looked down and saw that the glass was empty. He placed it on a nearby table and went to lean against a wall.

There was music playing, Eliza’s sister was talking to the new couple, and laughter was filling the air. It seemed to echo around him - as if heard from somewhere far off.

He wasn’t left to himself for long. Another glass was pushed into his hand and a warm body pressed along his side. Aaron took a sip, it wasn’t what he was drinking before, and said, “Laurens, you’re drunk.”

Laurens was leaning against him, breath smelling of alcohol, “Well, Burr, I’m afraid that you’re right.” Lauren’s laugh was empty, “I don’t think I’d make it through this otherwise.”

Aaron took in a deep breath, “then why are you here?”

He had almost asked why Laurens was so effected, but Aaron wasn’t blind or deaf, and it would take a much-less observant man than he to notice that was something between Laurens and Hamilton.

Laurens gestured with the arm holding his drink toward the wedded couple, arm sloshing over his hand, “because he wanted me to, and the day I turn down a single request of his is the day I’m in my grave.”

“I see.”

“Do you?” Laurens’ gaze was clearer, “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Aaron stared ahead, “I’m not quite sure.”


	2. hey, i’m liking your photos at 2am because i want to make out.  i’m texting you at noon because i want to make out.  i woke up today because i (we don’t need words)

John knew that even though Aaron was quietier about it than Alex was, he was just as busy and spent just as much time working to make everything the best it could be. As much as John was proud of Aaron, he missed his boyfriend.

Aaron believed in turning off his phone while working, so John had learned not to bother texting him while he was studying. Aaron didn’t follow a set schedule, so it was often became a guessing game - and if Aaron didn’t respond to his texts, John would resort to other measures.

Which meant that John was laying in bed at two in the morning, scrolling through Aaron’s instagram and liking every single one of the posted photos, hoping that Aaron would close his computer and look at this phone and see all the notifacations and realize that John wanted his attention. 

That was a method that only worked until John ran out of photos and posts to like on various social media, and since Aaron barely used his twitter, it didn’t take very long for John to reach the end.

John knew Aaron got the notifications, because he’d get an exasperated sounding text, to which John would respond with a chain of heart emojis. 

Aaron preferred face to face communication, and if he thought something John texted were better suited for later, he’d ignore it and bring it up later. While irritating at times, there was something nice about it. John was able to text Aaron anything he wanted to tell him and wouldn’t have to worry about starting something - it was a reminder for the both of them. Alex thought it was weird, but John thought it was part of what made them work so well.

But John didn’t want to have a conversation with Aaron, John wanted to lay with Aaron on the futon in his dorm and makeout while some shitty reality show played on the tv shoved in the corner. So John typed that with a smirk on his face, imagining Aaron’s raised brows as he read it while in the middle of a conversation with someone. 

Friday nights were time that John and Aaron set aside to be free of homework and Alex - who claimed to be the one that got them together over their mutual lust for him. 

Aaron might be the type to start of a conversation on a neutral foot and work the topic around until he got what he wanted, but John was much more the type to jump in. 

There was a knock on his door, and when John opened it to find Aaron standing there wth a to-go cup of coffee in hand and a small grin on his face, John wasted no time taking the coffee to set it down, and grabbing Aaron’s shirt to yank him close.


	3. Tell me a secret.

Years of looks of disgust and insults thrown his way had taught Aaron that despite what might be written in law, he wasn’t safe. It was a risk, telling people. 

They’d hear what he was and recoil in fear. He wasn’t to be trusted, everyone knew that a incubus was a cold, cruel, and faithless creature. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t asked for this, it didn’t matter that he didn’t seek anyone out - was able to feed on the energy of any sort of excitement. The tales all told of incubi preying on virginal women, the stories didn’t go into detail about how the passion and roaring blood of an angry crowd worked better than some clueless, crying virgin.

Aaron Burr had never been one to take risks, but there was something about John Laurens’ eyes that invited him to open up and share everything. He knew better to trust that urge, knew it was the work of magic at play, but Aaron Burr wanted nothing more than to give in. Perhaps it was how close Laurens was, less than an inch separating their lips and the smell of whiskey fresh on Laurens’ breath. It was intoxicating.

So, when Laurens said, “tell me a secret.” Burr answered.

He told John Laurens what he was. It was the first time he had said the name, a distant sort of title that sounded foreign on his lips.

He had expected Laurens to recoil, even in a drunken haze there was some knowledge that was embedded in childrens’ souls and never forgotten. Burr should have known that John Laurens was always one to fight against the ordinary. 

John smiled wide. Burr had always viewed Laurens as a happy, joyful man, but he realized he had never seen Laurens smile. Aaron was certain he wouldn’t have forgotten the tell-tale fangs of a vampire otherwise.

Laurens didn’t recoil, but rather lunged forward, biting at his lower lip. He felt a sharp pinprick, but he could only moan into the other man’s mouth. A vampire got its life and energy from the blood it drank, and that blood carried the desires and energies and passions of the people it came from. Laurens must have just fed, because he was overwhelmed with the lust and desire of more than one creature.

When he pulled back, he could feel the energy humming under his skin. Laurens smirked, “wild, isn’t it? That’s why the discourage this, you know. They want us to pair with humans, or eachother. They say it keeps us strong, I say it makes us weak.”

Burr didn’t care, and lunged forward for Laurens’ mouth again.


	4. the chocolatier

Burr works at a really fancy bakery that has its own chocolate shop or whatever. Alex drags John along one time because he’s getting Eliza chocolate covered strawberries or something he associates with stable relationships and financial stability. 

John’s just kind of standing behind Alex and looking at his phone, just kinda sighing as Alex is being all weird and well, Alex. Burr is behind the counter or whatever and asks him if he needs any help, John looks up and is immediately taken aback by the handsome man that is speaking to him.

He ends up buying like ten truffles and pays like $60 for chocolate he didn’t want because he wanted Burr to smile at him. 

John ends up going back after every paycheck, each time being unable to summon the courage to ask Burr out, but falling a little in love as their conversations start to actually have some substance.

Alex catches on and goes in to get Eliza more strawberries, dragging John along with him, and starts chatting up Burr. John is behind Alex embarrassed as all hell and Burr is all “oh, sorry, you’re not really my type, but your friend on the other hand.”

And that’s how Alex gets John Burr’s number and they run away into the sunset and have picnics at the park and hold hands as the sun sets.

Burr’s kisses taste like chocolate.


	5. How funny. You thought I cared.”

John could tell that Aaron was having a bad night. Aaron was sitting down, still and silent, eyes focused on some place far away from where they were. These were the times where Aaron’s words flowed, no longer so careful when emotions were running high.

He sat down on the couch and grabbed Aaron’s hand. “Hey, babe.”

Aaron remained silent, still distant.

“Is everything okay?”

Aaron said nothing.

John nodded and relaxed back into the couch, pulling his phone from his pocket. Aaron hadn’t told him to go, and so he would stay. He didn’t let go of Aaron’s hand, and prepared for a long night. If Aaron wanted to talk, he would.

His phone was at seventeen percent battery when Aaron squeezed his hand. John put his phone screen down at his side and turned to Aaron. “Hey.”

“Hello.” Aaron’s voice was a whisper.

“What’s up?”

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes. “I think I might be broken.”

John shook his head and squeezed Aaron’s hand again. “You’re not broken, why would you think that?”

“I just,” Aaron shook his head, “don’t feel the things. Everyone goes on about how things hurt, how they feel good. Hearts beating in chests and the breath rushing out or your stomach filling with butterflies. I don’t get that. What’s wrong with me?”

“No, nothing’s wrong with you.” John reached out a hand and settled it on Aaron’s cheek, turning Aaron’s head to look at him. “You’re perfect. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about anything. Okay?”

Aaron shook his head. “No. It’s not okay. How am I supposed to care about anything when I don’t feel anything? How am I supposed to keep pushing forward when I know the potential satisfaction I may feel will be empty?”

John felt his heart rise to his throat. “You’re not empty. You’ve gone through so much, you’re so strong. I love you so much, so much.” He blinked away the tears. “And you do care, you have to care. You wouldn’t do so much if you didn’t care.”

Aaron laughed, harsh and sharp sounding. “What have I done? What is this so much that I have done?”

“You’ve helped so many people. Alex, Theo, Herc, Laf, me. You’ve helped me so much. You mean so much to me. I know you, Aaron. You care so much, you care about me, you care about us. You’re not empty. You’re the furthest from empty. You’re so careful, you have so much love within you.”

Aaron smiled, sad, and shook his head. “No. You’re wrong.”

“No.” John shook his head. “I’m not.”

Aaron opened his eyes. “Yes, you are. You’re so wrong, it’s funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“You thought I cared.”

John’s mind went blank, the words playing on repeat in his ears. “What do you mean?” 

“I thought I cared, John. I really did. I convinced myself I was in love with you. But I’m so empty. I can’t believe it. Nothing’s there. I don’t care - about you, about anything. You could leave and it’d just be another day. I convinced you, I convinced myself. We both thought I cared. Yet, the more I think about, the less sure I am that I do.”

A tear fell down his cheek. “You don’t mean that.”

“That’s the thing.” Aaron’s eyes were wet. “I think I do.”


	6. Libra: dressing up (lingerie), voyeurism, threesomes/orgies

Aaron’s hands squeezed John’s hips when John moved to straddle his lap, arms going over his shoulders. “I have a surprise for you,” John whispered, hot breath ghosting over his cheek. 

“Do you?” Aaron asked.

John’s lips went over his jaw and down his neck, stopping to nip at the skin right behind his jaw. “Mmhmmm,” he hummed. “Something I got just for you.”

Aaron tilted his head to the side. “Do I get any clues?”

“Nope,” John said, shaking his head. “But you’ll find out real soon.”

Aaron slid his hand down the back of John’s jeans, and he gasped when he found lace instead of the expected cotton. “Oh,” he breathed out.

John rolled his hips forward. “Do you like it?”

Aaron reached hand up into John’s hair and pulled his head back as to capture John’s lips in a bruising kiss. He pulled back, both of their chests heaving. “I like it a lot.”


	7. I want people to see the marks I leave on you. So they know you’re taken.

Aaron couldn’t explain where the urge came from, why he felt the way he did. It had never been a problem before, his mind had never been filled with images of marks that he had put on a person’s skin.

John tilted his head to the side, pushing up against him. “Aaron,” John gasped. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Aaron squeezed John’s hips. “I’ve never been so caught up with someone before,” he said. “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“I thought about you all day,” John said, a small smile and lowered lids looking up at him. “You and your perfect face and your perfect hands and your perfect-”

Aaron bent down and caught John’s mouth in a kiss, catching John’s lip between his teeth as he pulled away. “You were saying?” he asked.

John laughed. “I think I might be obsessed with you,” he admitted.

“I might be a little obsessed with you too,” Aaron said. He pressed his lips to John’s jaw, and started to trail a line of kisses down the side of John’s neck. “I don’t know why but…I…I want to see you with marks.”

“Oh?” John asked, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s shoulders and pressing even closer. “I’m not, ah, opposed.”

Aaron smiled against John’s neck. “I want people to see the marks I leave on you,” he said. “So they know you’re taken.”

“I never, uh, would have chosen you as the possessive type,” John breathed out.

Aaron pressed even closer, pressing his thigh between John’s legs. “Neither would I,” he admitted. “But you happen to bring out the best in me, I think.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to pester me at my [tumblr](http://ashilrak.tumblr.com)! :^))
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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